Modern Family Quotes

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Mitchell's new boss: Do you guys surf?
Cameron: Only for bargains on the Web!
Basketball Coach: You're doing great, Luke, if your goal is to suck! Claire: Alex, Honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, Kitten! Phil: Let's show these guys what kind of team they're about to beat. Phil: I was 11 years old. I hit ten straight fastballs in the batting cage, then my friend Jeff Sweeney took one in the groin. I yelled "ball two!" Everybody laughed. That's when I knew I was funny. Cameron: You're so cute when you're angry with you're little fists. I just want to put you in my pocket. Phil: The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, "we love you, Phil." Gloria: This part of town, might be very rough, but the people here, Cameron, are the best!
Cameron: I'm pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.
Alex: Luke has ADHD.
Luke: No I don't... what is it?
Alex: I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the (Luke wanders off) H.
Phil: You're doing that thing when you say what I want you to say, but your tone seems mean. Manny: Lots of stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker. Mitchell: If my daughter can stand up then so can I. Gloria: It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, Jay? Phil: I know the pain is fresh, but the lie is really old. Phil: Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then, I met your mom. Claire: Women in their 30s on the internet are like ninjas. They get in their little, black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage. Phil: My boy was in trouble. So I put my fears aside and came to his rescue? Does that make me a hero? Yes it does. Jay: I have to get old... you don't have to get fat. Dylan: All women should look as tasty as you when they're old. Mitchell: My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.